How a hearing impairment is teaching me to be a better listener

Many good leaders will say that their success is measured by the actions they -- and their teams -- have taken. And a good many more will say that the opportunity to lead and achieve success started with being a good listener.

Certainly I had heard that before, but I wasn’t really listening. And to my defense, I was legitimately distracted.

Early in my adult life I was diagnosed with having tinnitus, a symptom of a hearing-related problem. The symptom itself is a highly annoying and perpetual ringing in the ears. To explain it, I tell people that it is similar to being in the country on a summer’s night and hearing the symphonic hum of crickets, where there is no discernible beginning or end. (It’s also quite similar to the last 30 seconds of bagpipes in this AC/DC classic.) Now imagine that hum never going away and being present as you work, accompanying every conversation and every waking moment. This is my reality.

But I’m far from unique. Statistics suggest that one in five U.S. adults experience hearing loss that often begins with tinnitus. It is a distraction that presents real challenges. And with nearly two decades of ringing in my ears, I’ve accepted it’s not going away anytime soon.

When I embraced this fact, something surprisingly counter to my situation happened: I became a better listener (partially out of necessity). It also meant coming to grips with the fact that, until this point, I wasn’t the listener I thought I was.   

The good news is you don’t need the distraction of crickets chirping or Bon Scott’s bagpipe coda in your head 24/7 to force yourself to be a better listener. Instead, start being more intentional. Here are five things I’ve learned over the years:  

• PRACTICE INTENTIONAL LISTENING: This is far different from hearing. Listening is actively processing ideas and making connections to what is – and isn’t – being said. My clients are too kind to question my listening techniques, which may include cupping an ear or getting up and moving about the room to hear more clearly. When we choose to listen with intention versus simply hearing what’s being spoken, we become better problem solvers, and more understanding and empathetic to the stories being shared with us.

• PUSH THROUGH DISTRACTIONS: Tinnitus, for me, amplifies sounds that are high pitched. That can mask what I’m trying hard to glean and discern. If I focus on this as it happens in my head, it can send me off course and I miss chunks of conversation. So I refuse to focus on it as I did in earlier years with this symptom. My listening challenges aren’t all rooted in audiology. Visual distractions play a key role, too, as I notice people around me, the large TV screen above the bar, or anything that’s moving in my peripheral vision. To combat this, I take off my eyeglasses and look directly at the individual in front of me. Simply put, I can no longer focus on the distractions.

• ADJUST TO ENGAGE: I’m guilty of occasionally being in casual conversation and nodding along when I don’t hear clearly. This also means I'm not clear on what I’m agreeing with or laughing to, which is just bad form on my part. This is particularly the case when I’m in a noisy, crowded environment. But if I care about the person who is choosing to speak to me, I should care enough to listen. That may require moving to an area that is less noisy or leaning in a little closer as a nonverbal gesture that says I want to hear what you’re saying. Stop nodding along and make the necessary adjustments to be engaged. You have no idea how important that conversation might be.

• ASK CLARIFYING QUESTIONS: The idea that there are no bad questions sounds good in theory, but to some degree most of us are embarrassed to suggest we don’t understand. When we overcome our fear of asking questions by asking clarifying questions, we put what’s in question into context: “So what you’re saying is…”  “are you suggesting that…” “so how do you see that playing out…” are a few thoughtful ways to have content readdressed that perhaps didn’t stick the first time. We all miss the point from time to time. Asking clarifying questions can help. And it may get you to a comfort level of simply saying – “I don’t get it” or “could you repeat that?”

• MAKE 'FACE' CONTACT: More than just eye contact, I’ve found that face contact allows better processing of nonverbal cues by paying closer attention to the mouth. As a result, I’ve become adept at reading lips to cross-check what I believe I’m processing. This has proven immensely valuable the more I work with individuals whose native language is not English. I can see how they are forming sounds and words, and that helps us to have smoother and more fluent conversations. Recognizing my nature to be an introvert, averting the eyes has always been easy. But when I look intently at someone, they know I'm dialed in to them and them only.  Conversations of all types reap greater rewards when we’re focused on the one who is talking.

If you want to lead, start by being an intentional and engaged listener.  And if you're currently in a leadership position, assess how strong your listening skills are and commit to becoming even better.

Are you listening with intention or just hearing the chatter and noise around you? What practices do you employ to be a better listener – and thus a better leader? Consider sharing your thoughts, tips and strategies. We can all afford to get better.

VW's latest problem: is it the message, the messenger or something else?

Volkswagen CEO Matthias Mueller.

Photo credit: Guenter Schiffmann/Bloomberg

I feel bad for Matthias Mueller right now. The current CEO of beleaguered automaker Volkswagen is attempting to smooth things over with lawmakers this week in his first official visit to the U.S. However, he couldn’t hide from his off-putting comments on Sunday at the Detroit Auto Show. Remarkably VW dug a deeper hole for Mueller when it cast blame on the circumstances of the interview rather than the substance of his remarks.

Frustrating as this is, I don’t blame Mueller.

I don’t blame the former head of Porsche, who was appointed to CEO of VW and thrust into the smoggy limelight last September, for his overall tone-deafness, lack of urgency on the emissions scandal, or even the gulf of truth that lies somewhere between his “I apologize once again” and “we didn't lie” statements.

I don’t blame Mueller because so far he’s just been the messenger – a poor one perhaps (and that is fixable) – but a messenger nonetheless. And I hold true to the notion that we shouldn’t shoot the messenger.

While VW's communication has been anything but a well-oiled machine, the opportunity to reverse that trend starts this week. Here's what can be gleaned from VW's recent road bumps and how the company can get back on track.  

TELL THE RIGHT STORY

Mueller’s messages are crafted talking points designed to share VW’s point of view or story, which is key here: it's the story VW wants to share, which sometimes isn't the story that needs to be shared. Mueller is still in his infancy as CEO, so getting the story right every time can be challenging, especially when the story is changing, opinions are shifting and emotions are running high.

As hard as it may be for some leaders to tell the unvarnished truth, doing so invites transparency and simplifies things. But simply saying the right thing isn't enough. The right words only begin to mean something when they don't always require notecards and are followed up with meaningful action. This transparency also kills a deceptive form of creative storytelling, often designed to appease a niche audience, rather than getting on with the work of repairing broken trust. In his incredibly short tenure, there has been a repeated theme of ‘misunderstanding’ with his answers that needs to be resolved immediately.

BE PREPARED

Mueller’s counselors and advisors had to know that he’d get tough questions not only from U.S. lawmakers later in the week, but also from media at the auto show in off-the-cuff moments. Language barrier aside, a lack of preparation and ownership of the clear and concise story beyond the scripted moments is showing,  and it's reflecting poorly on him and the company. His response to NPR about ethical problems is an example of not being well prepared and inconsistent: 

MUELLER:  I don’t understand whether (why) you say that.

NPR reporter:  Because Volkswagen in the U.S. intentionally lied to EPA regulators when they asked them about the problem before it came to light.

MUELLER:  We didn't lie. We didn't understand the question first.    

COMMIT TO POSITIVE CULTURE CHANGE

There is no guarantee that Mueller will choose to do the right thing – or the wrong thing – when it comes to steering the company forward. But his recent statements regarding his desire to infuse fun back into the company hints at problems with VW’s culture, especially given the cover up and deception that put VW in this position in the first place. The leadership team that has been running VW prior to and through the emissions scandal also is responsible for anointing Mueller as chief messenger. Whether he emerges from this crisis as a transformational leader is yet to be seen – and it hinges on whether or not he can deliver truthful, transparent answers and simply do the right thing, no matter the short-term cost. That alone will signal a significant shift in corporate culture, which will help to repair its troubled reputation from the inside out.

WELCOME WISE COUNSEL & COMMUNICATION

Like any successful leader, Mueller needs good counsel and must surround himself with thoughtful individuals committed to bettering the company and exceeding public expectations. He needs to set a high bar regarding insights into all facets of the company and candor of how shortcomings will be addressed. However, if what we’re seeing is an eschewing of wise counsel, preparation and well-developed messages that have failed to be delivered with the sincerity in which they were written, then Mueller’s tenure likely will become a brief footnote in the company’s history.

Until now, VW has been its own worst enemy in the last several months, but this week Mueller has an opportunity to change that. While Mueller could benefit from a more thoughtful and concerned public persona that most people intuitively expect of chief executives under fire, there should be an undefined "grace period" for inheriting and cleaning up a mess not of your own making. And despite some foot-in-mouth moments and inconsistent messaging, I find myself rooting for Mueller to make the successful evolution from brand messenger to respected CEO, and here's why:

America loves a great comeback story – especially when one humbly accepts its wrongs and works with unmatched determination and transparency to right the ship or, in this case, the car.

It is without question the story that VW should be working tirelessly and without compromise to write.  

For nonprofits, winning by year's end needs to be a year-long effort

The “year-end ask” has been a staple of the charitable funding equation for years. Like retail, this is the season that can define the fiscal year. Black Friday – along with consumer-friendly initiatives such as Small Business Saturday and Cyber Monday – has recently inspired Giving Tuesday. Noble as this giving initiative is, it also finds itself strategically hamstrung as it falls on the heels of the nation’s biggest retail spending days in hopes that there is something left in the consumer wallet to support the greater good.

And that leads to a bigger, more strategic question for the charitable sector:

How can nonprofits connect effectively with prospective donors who might already be suffering from seasonal spending and donor fatigue?

Nonprofits can benefit from some of the same separation strategies that entrepreneurs and startups need to apply with investors and venture capitalist firms to gain funding support. It also requires knowing your audience, compelling them to action, and not relying on the calendar to spark donor interest.   

Following are five ways nonprofits can better attract, and work to retain, a loyal donor base:

• DEMONSTRATE CREDIBILITY & EXPERTISE. Entrepreneurs must demonstrate talent and expertise by identifying real business problems and offer solutions. Investors will admit that good ideas don’t get funded if the right people aren’t in place. If you’re relying on a track record of past successes or name recognition to carry your organization, it’s time to rethink how your people – your most valuable assets – are helping to drive successful outcomes.

• BE OPEN & TRANSPARENT. Investors demand regular metrics and details from entrepreneurs to see if they are delivering on their promise – and donors should expect similar consideration. Are you making it easy for donors to understand your impact? Is data relegated solely to your annual report? Proactively share your impact on both the financial and compassion meter regularly with your audience and take ownership for all that you do – even as you grow and learn to do it better.

• TELL COMPELLING STORIES – AND NOT JUST AT YEAR'S-END. What you do and why your organization is worthy of being funded needs to be part and parcel of every nonprofit story. It’s the organization’s responsibility to raise awareness as well as funding if meaningful change is to occur. So get personal. Share insights from individuals who benefit from or impact your organization’s work. Leverage video to bring those real stories to life for the donor. And strike a balance between successes and the emotional reality of what you’re facing. As you tell authentic and compelling stories, existing and prospective funders can see that progress is being made without losing sight of a need that demands greater attention.

• EMPOWER YOUR DONORS TO SHARE THEIR STORY – AND YOURS. Leaders and development officers will always serve as chief fundraisers, but they also need to be relationally engaged and recognize how their donors are being transformed, and then identify the right avenues to have them advocate from the heart and personal experience. This third-party validation of your organization's work often can reach and inspire a group of prospective donors that may never appear on a prospect list.

• BRAND PRESENTATION MATTERS. Donors will judge the book by its cover. Like it or not, perception matters. But today brand strategy and communication tools that enhance brand credibility are accessible to all, including those with limited budgets. If extreme frugality has been your branding and communication strategy, then carefully consider what your brand might be communicating before you ever get a chance to speak with a donor.    

While many charities hope to hit a home run on Giving Tuesday, some inevitably will strike out. But all can take a cue from Cal Ripken – baseball’s most reliable player to ever play the game – by showing up every day and finding ways to make an impact. In doing so, nonprofits can demonstrate to donors that they have compelling reasons to be charitable that trump the well-intended, once-a-year plea.    

Your organization’s story is unique. How are you making it compelling? And how is your year-long strategy taking the pressure off the year-end ask?

A version of this post first appeared on re:charity.  

Your brand needs internal feedback, not consensus

While it’s tempting to think that coming to consensus represents good brand ideas and communication concepts winning out and a team fully aligned, it’s often the case that consensus is a way to politely sidestep what people truly fear – conflict. But healthy debate should always trump the pursuit of benign alignment. It’s how you make the good idea better.

A COMMITMENT TO LISTEN

Leaders who value input do themselves a favor by asking others to voice their opinion and then listening carefully. In particular, people outside of their area expertise can provide helpful insights as they’re not immersed in the details of the work. These ‘fresh eyes’ can reveal a lot. Or sometimes nothing.  

However, leaders are not obliged to interpret this feedback as fact. And this is where many of us run afoul – attempting to adjust and please everyone at the expense of doing what’s best, right or strategically sound.  

Like it or not, we all come to the table with our own biases and preferences. We bring strong personal opinions that seep over and taint our professional judgment. As we evaluate marketing and communication initiatives, seeking consensus can be problematic as it can dilute the way the brand is positioned, how it communicates, and how it is perceived by the audience.

Perhaps you've had conversations around communication topics with this type of pushback:

BRAND DESIGN: “I don’t like that color.” “The typeface is too modern, too big, too small, too _______.”

MESSAGE:  “Do we have to say it this way?” “We’re too stodgy.” “We should be more playful.” “We should talk more about X and less about Y.”

MARKETING: “I don’t like our ads.” “We should be advertising more.” “Our website needs more videos.” “Our competitors are on Instragram so we should be there, too.”

I’ve seen brands lose their punch, watched messages get diluted of their power, and observed marketing campaigns that fell flat because consensus prevailed. The real problem with consensus is that customers are the ones who lose out. They don’t get to see, hear or experience unique brands being bold and memorable. Instead they encounter another brand that lacks differentiation in a crowded market.

Any strategic communication approach should come equipped with thoughtful rationale for brand development, messaging and content marketing, and the most effective ways to reach the target audience.

AN OBLIGATION TO LEAD

As leaders we must ask ourselves:

• Is this feedback pivotal or is it personal preference?
• Do we have a strong case for 'why' that can turn skeptics into believers?

For today’s leader to be an effective chief brand ambassador, there needs to be equal parts business acumen, deft communication skills and social psychology at work. Introduce something new, bold or challenging and rest assured it will take time for everyone to embrace it.   

So take all the feedback you can get. Sift up what’s valuable and adjust as appropriate. Lead with conviction and confidence. And then give it time.

Dare I call it consensus, but you just might be surprised how big the bandwagon gets when people see all of the brand pieces coming together.   

Does your brand need more calculated risks?

Ruts. We all get into them. The goal is to get out of them, quickly – and for a brand this can be especially challenging and often saddled with cost implications.

A common knee-jerk reaction is to do something big and drastically change things up. While this may be warranted in some cases, brand managers also need the green light from those who will foot the bill for shifts in marketing strategy. Having strong rationale in place to validate a change in approach can be the difference between an ill-advised leap and calculated risk.  

Taking a calculated risk doesn’t require relying on gut intuition. It’s about recognizing performance realities and probing the depths of creativity within the proper context. Consider the following as you push the brand envelope:

ACKNOWLEDGE THE SIGNS. Knowing when it’s time to part ways with a business as usual or we’ve always done it this way approach is critical. Few branding strategies are developed with the goal of maintaining the status quo. Examine your brand and determine if your content marketing is static. Are you sharing real insights or uninspiring information? Do events offer anything new or do they come off as old activities that have been recycled for a new calendar year? If you’re seeing diminishing returns, then it’s time to rethink your engagement strategy.  

EXPLORE YOUR BRAND CHARACTER. This doesn’t suggest you do something out of character. Every well-conceived brand should have a brand roadmap that also reveals brand characteristics.  And, much like people you’re trying to reach, you’ll recognize that brands are equally multifaceted. But chances are several facets of the brand personality have been overlooked for those that have taken priority. If your brand is in a rut, explore its character traits as they may offer ways to present the brand and its offerings in a fresh light and meaningful ways to your audience.  

KEEP IT IN CONTEXT. A calculated risk doesn’t mean ignoring strategy, data or your values. It’s also not about shock and awe. It simply means taking a different approach to reaching the same desired outcome. Keep focused on the main thing as you explore and test new ways of getting there.

GIVE IT AMPLE TIME & RESOURCES. This is true for existing strategies as well as new marketing approaches. While you may feel compelled to abandon a campaign that is lacking traction, first confirm you’ve devoted the right talent for the job, given it the proper time to work, and the opportunity to tweak or perform the necessary triage to salvage good ideas that haven’t fully come to life yet.  In a world that craves instant gratification, be patient. Your marketing budget just may thank you.

We’ve heard it before: no risk, no reward. Just make sure those risks are calculated. You’ll likely earn the opportunity to take more of them, especially when performance reaps the reward.